When their town is sacked by orcs, a human mother and son rescue a mysterious scepter from a burning shrine. They must flee into the perilous Mottled Forest where they encounter all sorts of nefarious magical creatures. Everyone they meet harbors their own desires for the scepter.
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Illustrations for the first five chapters by Owusyr.
Illustrations for Chapter 6 and later by BSA: https://www.patreon.com/BSArt and https://twitter.com/BSAnsfw
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4.4 out of 5 dark stones (based on 42 reviews)
Chapter 6
There are somethings that are a bit confusing to me. Is Marco 18 or 20? Was Pallida really jealous or was Marco misinterpreting her reaction?
BSA and I appreciate all the comments. We’re going to work on an adjustment for the next chapter.
One other thing. I really love the ending panel to this I thought that was incredibly hot. But I do think it does need a bit more of a touch up or better yet perhaps not continue off were the other person did and start over I feel that would be better though everyone voted not to. Though once again I don’t think it was that bad just need some adjustments. That goes for all of his works. If he does that then I wouldn’t mind if he need a main story for you.
I hate to pile on but I also agree with the others as far as the art style. it worked well for CR because of the ethereal out of this world narrative that is based in what could be the real world. But this is already clearly fantasy and having more detail and less to the imagination or interpretation would be better. I’m no artist and I would never tell an artist how to do their work, however if BSA would be willing to mimic Owusyr’s style a bit more then I think it would go a lot father in meeting people’s expectations
Hey Rawls I will say at times I do think the art looks off. I say in the beginning when they are just standing there. I feel there needs to be a bit more detail. However, I think there are only those scenes I think everything looked pretty good. I feel the style actually kinda works with this since it is fantasy. Also it seems he learned his lesson from his last works and made the women more attractive and not old and didn’t go to much detail in the I will sageyness that was in the mother book club story. I think he needs to stick with having the women look like this and less like that because that too me is off putting and doesn’t work. Just a little more detail so we can see a bit more and the beginning scenes but other then that if he works on this more I’m cool with it.
Thank you, I appreciate the detailed feedback!
The story is great but the art isn’t good for the content. It’s really offputting tbh
Can you give some specific examples about what is off putting? We’re always looking for constructive criticism to improve.
unfortunately, i gotta agree. i don’t HATE BSA, but the style is unique and isn’t really doing it for me with this story. the style is kind of a cross between expressionism, and avant-garde…it is a touch off-putting. it clashes with the narrative imagery…. at least in my opinion….which is entirely subjective.
I appreciate the detailed feedback.
The artists work is thought provoking beautiful art you’d see at a gallery in Soho. but for this type of comic arousal is the name of the game and as crazy as it seems he’s overqualified lol
Yeah, i’ll agree with this too. The style is rather vague, and has an almost ethereal, dream-like quality to it…”nebulous” may also be an appropriate descriptor. Yes, i think “dream-like” is a good way to describe it, simply. From the coloring, to the indistinct way things are shaped and defined.. it’s simply too “artsy” for this medium. For your stories, i think artists who are more straight-forward (Lexx, TenderMindd, SatanicFruitCake, EsotericBunny, Sezlov, etc) do a better job of bringing the words on the page to life. The original artist for this project was a perfect fit…it’s too bad you two didn’t get along.
Thank you for the detailed feedback!
I always liked this one but I’m not gonna lie, I was looking forward to the next chapter but I’m a bit let down with the new artist. The old artist really fit the style of the book well. Are you not able to get them back?
Sorry you don’t like BSA’s take on this story. Hopefully it will grow on you. Do you have any specific feedback on the illustrations? The original artist and I didn’t work well together. So, he’s not coming back.
Any idea when you might be able to restart this story?
BSA will be working on it pretty soon.
I was rereading this story again and was struck with a notion.
Spoilers:
The music played by Helen during her duet with Gylfi wasn’t her induced love for Gylfi; but, was her love and passion for her son Marco. Upon hearing that music, Pallida was compelled by that passion to make love to Marco specifically. I had assumed that she was affected with general horniness. This notion opens up many more possibilities for storylines.
I like the way you think!
Artist aside, this storyline has several intriguing possibilities.
I just reread my comment and realized that it could be misunderstood.
What I was trying to say was: even though the illustrations are great; I find the storyline compelling and want more of it.
Sorry if my earlier comment sounded like I was dissing the artist.
No worries, I knew what you meant. We’re getting closer to starting this story again, but it may be several months.
Any updates ?
No updates. This one is going to be tough to find the right fit. It may take a while.
Enjoying the story. Feel the initial scene with the fawns was a bit short. Wouldn’t be a opposed to a reflective flashback that provides a bit more detail.
I love this story so much but chapter 5 is a disappointment. Feels like the story only progressed about an inch. The action scene was really cool and well illustrated. On the other hand the depiction of young Helen is bad. Her breasts would be a lot bigger by her 20’s if she is to become elder Helen. Only one child and her breasts grew, what like 3, 4 cup sizes? Doesn’t make any sense. Otherwise, I love everything else. I’m crazy about medieval fantasy so this one hits a sweet spot. Dryads… (drool)
Chapter 5 was definitely interesting. The question I find is…WHAT is Helen’s younger self? An illusion maybe?
I love chapter 4; I love how Marco found a lover that is more caring this time. The last part is the best.
Art is fantastic. Story great, wish it wasn’t a short lol. But still great. I really hope this person gets a full story. Also great to read this and this went in different directions then I first thought. Good job.
More please!! Wonderful work, both artwork and writing. Would love to see more illustrations! but I understand they are quality pieces and your writing certainly makes up for it in this one, so either way bravo!
We’re working on the next chapter right now. 🙂
Can’t open chapter 3
Try a different PDF reader on your phone. It should work that way.
I cannot seem to open chapter 3.
Thanks! I love chapter 3. It looks like Marco FINALLY got some action at last!
very detailed art and pretty too, not much of a fan of the mom NTR but the art is supreme, hope to see more of the artist
I agree. Love the art but the mother being willing to screw anything with a dick ruined the story for me.
I try different things in different stories. They don’t always work for everyone. I appreciate the feedback.
That Dryad is a sexy little fern. Here’s to a growing family tree.
😉
I am loving this 1, it looks like Helen is really losing herself to the pleasure.
This is probably my favorite current artist that is working with you.
I can’t wait until Marco makes his mother sing a duet with him. ?
He’ll need to focus if he’s going to rescue her!
Love this illustrator fast becoming my new fav!
Nice story, although after almost 2 months of waiting I expected more erotic illustrations for it, there was a little more in the first chapter. Having said that, I will be looking forward to the next chapter if or when it is to come out.
This is great when will the next chapter come out?
Probably within a month. 🙂
The first chapter is great, I would not change a thing. I love Helen and her picture.
Looking forward to the next illustrated chapter. Good Start!
Would love a series, even if you can only post the text story in advance
You’re in luck! I’ll be writing the next chapter in a week or two. The text always releases before the illustrated version.