The text for The Palmer Legacy Chapter 14 is live.

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It starts on page 123. Eddie and his mother entertain a guest for dinner.

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  1. NoblisOBE

    I like how you have set your various hedonistic gods/Demi god’s against each other, I fell you have finally hit on the main conflict to drive the narrative, organization Al device. For a bit the , things seemed to be happening with some what randomly. I like the idea of different camps or tribes pushing the others into deeper depravity.

    And while the fat asshole character is not my favorite, a story needs conflict, danger to raise the stakes. I am wondering if Noah will take the full bargain to protect Sam at some point or convert her back from Eddie should she fall under his spell. Eddie is also a good foil for Noah. I politely disagree with people who want him written out. Also if he ends up on the receiving end of Lauren’s gift, that would not be undeserved, he might even like it.

    Push the envelope, continue to let your mind wander into dark places. If people hate it could always turnout to be a nightmare or something. A writer gets at least one ejection seat/mulligan a project. But probably not more than one.

    To change the subject, is the “Repecki” project coming back at some point? I really enjoyed it and have some thoughts if you’re stuck or bored. Beyond the Immediate conflict the ensign had with those two officers, it lacked a larger story driver or other plot device. Which seems to be why it has sputtered out .

    A possible way, just a suggestion, maybe to re-charge the narrative is to look at the origins of the respective species themselves. Perhaps they were actually a genetically modified soldier cast, eugenic weapons. Huge, strong, trusting soldiers that could defeat enemies in the field and then outbreed them to ensure against uprising of a conquered people though demographic subjugation.

    Maybe chaotic black hole worshiping aliens designed the repecki to defeat a logical, ordered race but have since disappeared but are they gone?

    Explorations of nihilism vs libertine-ism. Both disregard or are less interested in moral conscience but with a very different flavors. Also fate vs choice conflict. As h the story progresses at the ensign harem grows, possibly to help chase down information or various items or information is he really different from those who designed the repecki? Does it matter? Also he could encounter various aliens that could expand on some of the things you are exploring in the narnia/missing boat story as well as the erato story lines.

    I think there is more there you could explore but it may not fit with your plans, interest.

    For the Aztec story, you may already have this planned but the Aztec rainbow/feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl would make for a cool character, plot device. Anyway, keep up the good work.


    1. Rawls

      Thanks for the detailed feedback! I always appreciate hearing reader thoughts.

      Repecki is on hold while the illustrator deals with some delays and works on Anything for Robby.