A twin brother and sister visited a magical world long ago. They were told never to return by a sage, old tiger. But they return as adults to find the place more dangerous and twisted than they remembered.
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Illustrations by JustPumpkin: https://twitter.com/JPummkin
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3.3 out of 5 dark stones (based on 7 reviews)
Still plans to continue/reboot this one?
This one did get rebooted here: https://rawlyrawls.com/the-chronicles-of-abrollin/, but then Sezlov moved over to working on La Belle, so the rebooted version is on hold now too 🙂 I have no plans to start it up in the near future.
Not a fan of the water color style of artwork.
I’m no longer working with this illustrator. The story will get rebooted someday.
Appreciate the reply. Figured you’d prefer honest, even if it’s critical feedback than folks blowing smoke.
Disclamer first, I haven’t read the story yet but I skimmed through the pictures of all the artists before my most recent vote to see what styles I liked.
I LOVE the style in this one… for the covers. When it’s taking up the whole page you can really see all the great detail that is put into it, and it really feels like they painted this then just took a picture of it, which I’m a huge fan of. However like a lot of people have pointed out it doesn’t quite work once you’re in the story. I think it’s kind of because things sort of start blurring together, and at some points it becomes hard to pick out the foreground from the background. I saw above that there is going to be a style change in the next chapter and I am hoping that we reach a nice middle ground of letting their style shine while also bringing in a bit more realism that makes it easier to take in the pictures while I’m reading a story.
Regardless, beautiful work by the artist
I really like the story, the twist on Narnia, and very much hope to read more of it.
The painted art style was great at first, and worked really well initially in the first chapter. However, it feels like towards the end things start slipping. The face of Gertrude doesn’t match between page 6 and 7 and without the story I would definitely think they were two different people. Also, in the image on page 7, without completing her left leg, it almost feels like she’s melting into the boat ala the Flying Dutchman.
With chapter 2, the style mismatch becomes even more pronounced. In chapter 1 the cover is a zoomed in version of the picture on page 6, but the picture on page 6 reveals the faun engaged with Gertrude. In chapter 2 it’s the same but there’s no added details to make it interesting.
The art style is a little too roughly edged when it comes to figures, and doesn’t really seem to enhance those. The pictures in the second chapter seem rougher and less polished overall than those in the first chapter. The raised brush strokes are a stylistic choice, but overpower and detract from the skin.
Things get really confusing with the Siren. The siren’s image from page 4 (and the cover) and page 9 is distracting with the uneven coloration. The siren’s breasts are described as blue in the text, but are peach toned in the images on pages 4 and 9. Likewise, the siren’s coloring between page 4 and page 5 drastically shift. It’s hard to tell what’s going on in the image on page 5 at all. The tentacle hair is evident on page 5 but only seems apparent on page 4 if I expressly look for it after seeing page 5’s image. The loss of definition from the art style works against clear understanding of what’s being depicted.
The image of Gertrude on page 6 now almost looks Asian (?) and the face of the Gertrude on page 7 seems to be different from her face on page 6. As with the first chapter, I’d think they were two different people if the story didn’t let me know otherwise.
The backgrounds of the images on pages 6, 7, and 8 really feel slapdash, don’t help to define the figures, and overall feel like the artist ran out of time. The backgrounds in the first chapter’s images were much cleaner and smoother and really lent a richness to the image and the story.
I think the application of art style needs to be considered carefully. Impressionism, cubism, modernism, surrealism don’t really lend themselves to great nudes (and porn) and to use them for it requires a lot of forethought and careful application. Unfortunately, it seems to be lacking here and thus the images don’t add as much to the story as they could.
Just my $.02
I appreciate the detailed feedback. We’re going to try a new style on the next chapter of this story.
It’s a pretty cool story, but i honestly despise the artwork for this one. I think this is the only time i’ve ever actually said i despise an artists style, for one of these things.
I’m already hooked! When will see more of this story?
I haven’t written chapter two yet. This one will move a bit slower than some of my other projects. But I do have plans to continue it 🙂
Nice! Thanks for the fast reply, and for all of the consistently excellent work you do.
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Great story but I find the art distracting because of the style choices.
Well done! I do think it feels slightly hurried, but not enough to mess up enjoying the chapter
I really liked the surreal quality of the art it is very unique and stands out among the many artists of RawlyRawls works. I hope to see more from this artist.
Really like this one and would love a continuation of this story. I like the fact that you based this off Narania, which the artwork really goes well with this. Loved the art hope to see more of JPummkin I don’t what other story that this art can work for but still would love to see more of him.
This story is incredible. It’s like a twisted Narnia. The art especially evokes that sort of whimsical tale that it should be. I’m super excited for the other chapters.